It’s been a little over a year since my son was born. As his first birthday approached I found myself reflecting on those first few weeks with him. I’d prepared for months — nine long, uncomfortable months of pregnancy leading up to his birth. I wanted everything to be perfect, an annoying type-a tendency of mine. I read the books on how to have the best birth experience, I wanted to go natural, to delay the newborn tests so we could have skin-to-skin first, all the things I’d learned from the countless blogs, books and documentaries.

My first shock back to reality came with my last o.b. appointment and my doctor’s order to have a cesarean the very next morning. Thankfully Julian was born just fine and perfectly healthy. The next month, however, it became clear that our lives were forever changed. It was challenging, sometimes overwhelming and of course filled with so much love, but the constantly crying baby and intense sleep deprivation took a toll on all of us.

I felt like a failure. Now I know this is common and I wish I’d prepared more for that first month instead of focusing all my energy on unattainable perfection.

Anyway, all this to say that I wrote about the first month of motherhood and our story was included in a book! It’s called “Mama, Bare” and is available for purchase on Amazon, or as a digital download here. The stories are raw, painful, beautiful and ultimately healing.

If you or someone close to you is a new mama I certainly recommend reading this book. It gives a sense of community — something so desperately needed when we give birth to our babies and, ultimately, our new selves.